Not all fake meats are created equal. In fact I don't know why some are created all. And who better to rate the quality of fake meats than a meat eater? So, I am going to try and take some of the mystery out of the faux meat market with this handy-dandy rating system. I've revamped it a little because all the coke cans were a little disconcerning so we're going with a one to five scale one being "Avoid at all costs" and five being "Go out right now and get some!"

Stonewall Jackson's veggie Jerquee: I have never been a fan of real beef jerky, something about leathery beef just isn't appetizing. Sonewall's Jerquee is different tho, it's really tasty. It's downright meaty as well. It is little discs of fake meaty goodness. They stock several flavors at the local health food store. My only complaint is that they a little squishy when you chew them, almost like chewing on a wet sponge.
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White Wave brand Vegetarian Stir Fry Strips: We discovered these in the store when we were looking to buy another brand of fake chicken to put in stir fry. This just jumped off the shelf and us and I'm glad it did. They are seasoned and marinated and are actually quite meaty. They taste good too.
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Lightlife Pepperoni: We have gotten this a couple of times, and it's really pretty tasty. The main difference that makes it not quite like real pepperoni is that it isn't greasy like the real stuff is. Other than that it's really pretty good.
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Now and Zen UnTurkey: We have seen these in the local Mother Earth Market on more than on occasion and I had been intrigued. "Could they actually make something that tastes like turkey?" I asked myself. So I bought on for our Christmas dinner, and the answer...No. You'll never slip this past Uncle Frank: Turkey Fiend but it's really not bad. I thought the Turkey part was pretty tasty, but it loses points because of the stuffing, it just didn't taste good.
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Yve's Veggie Breakfast Links:I was a little skeptical at first, but these are really pretty tasty. They look just like the little sausages that they are supposed to replace. We used them in the Peppered Black Beans and Sausage and they were really really tasty. If you have a hankerin' for sausage give these a try.
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Chicken TVP: Pretty good in the same vein as the Chunky TVP. Dry it tastes like bacon bits, re-hydrated it's vagely chickeny. The biggest problem is that the bits are about the size of bacon bits so it's not the best for replacing real chicken. Which is why it only gets....
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Slice O' Life Vegan Chick'n: This has a really firm texture and sorta tastes like chicken too. We haven't done too much with this yet, but it has the potental to be really good.
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Harvest Direct Chicken strips: While not entirely unlike chicken they are entirely unlike strips. More of a medallion shape, these little re-hydrated guys are not too bad. They have a good texture and properly seasoned they're not too bad.
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Green Giant Burger Crumbles: A really excellent substitute for browned ground beef.
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Morningstar Farms Recipe Crumbles: Just as good as Green Giant, nothing bad about this.
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Worthington Tender Bits: I'm not sure what these were supposed to be, but YECH! They have the texture of used kleenex. Some people may like these but you'll never fool a meat eater with them.
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Worthington Skallops: For some reason I like these. I've always been a fan of seafood and these are pretty close, just don't look at them too long.
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Chunky TVP: No brand associated with these that I can tell. We get it in bulk at a local store. It looks and feels like dog food, but don't let that fool you, when it's re-hydrated it turns into a beef substitute. It's got a good texture and flavor, this one is a real fooler.
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Health is Wealth brand Chicken Nuggets: Ummm, these nuggets are excellent we used them in our Chicken Parmesian and they were fantastic. In this case parts really isn't parts.
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Lightlife Gimme Lean: This comes tubular in shape and big on burger-ness. I was really impressed with the quality of this. The only downside is that it's a little pricey.
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